maybe i should take a modeling class

In the last few years, I have embraced the fact that I have been "blessed" with the "Vaughan Family Curse" (shout out to all my mom's ancestors). This means, of course, that I have to also admit that I wasn't adopted (which is what I like to tease my mom about, but that's a whole other story).

The curse - which affects the lower lip - is present only in the women of the clan, and some are more affected than others. For example, there are some women who have been given the life-long enjoyment of a quirky (yet clearly cute) and slightly crooked bottom lip at all times. Others of us, myself included, only have fleeting moments of evidence. For example, the curse is most evident in me when I smile too big, which I seem to have a habit of doing quite a lot.

I'd like to think it's because I'm such a happy person (which I am), but I really think I just need professional help. I'm sure there's some modeling-world genius out there who can teach me to smile well, without looking like I just had a stroke! Note example below (click on the picture for a better view).



I mean, honestly...if anyone in this picture showed it to someone who doesn't know me, I think the first comment would be "Who's the stroke victim?" And, if, because this is a public site, somebody did a Google image search for "stroke victim", I'm sure this would be one of the photos that came up, and some random stranger would be thinking "How sweet for all those beautiful people to take that stroke victim girl out for dinner."

Mind you, I think it's a little bit endearing and cute, but I'd prefer that it didn't show up in 90% of the pictures that are ever taken of me. Management...that's what I need...management skills. All I want is to be able to "dial it down" without the assistance of a mirror...and that requires some training. You know, like that Friends episode where Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for his engagement pictures with Monica - "Look down...look down...look up!"

ah, the joys of home

LB. catha. paige. brandi. mom. dad. heather. micah. kristen. chad. greg. susan. tiff. michael. mike. carol. susannah. steven. todd. laurie. beth. dinah. robb. erika.

murray easter. reasonably-priced massages. nails and toes. mike's car. buying in dollars. the galleria. tj maxx. DSW. the saucer. section 108. lance. morgan. craig. adam.

central market. jose's dip. cheese enchiladas. american beef. free ice cream at jason's deli. the chocolate bar.

and last, but DEFINITELY not least:

he's off the hook

Since, in His infinite Wisdom, God ordained that some sweet soul would invent my beloved night-time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so-I-can-rest medicine (aka NyQuil)...I think Mr. 44 is off the hook.

I'm by no means ready for a marathon (or a half-marathon for that matter), but I am feeling better.

Now, what's funny (strange and a little haha) is that I'm a little bit miffed that I don't have this excuse to be mad at my neighbor. I guess I wanted a 'legitimate' excuse to think meanly about him (actually, I think it's technically 'them', but I freely assume that the man is the one who pulled the parking faux pas). How horrible is THAT? [Yes, I know the "freely assume...man" bit is a whole other can of worms.]

Maybe what I should do is bake them some cookies when I come back from Houston and take them over and introduce myself. I'm sure all the door slamming and general loudness would be a lot less annoying (and frequent, even) if we had some sort of neighborly relationship which actually made them stop and think "Hey, I bet Dovie is asleep...we should be quiet in the hall!" or opened the door, so to speak, to a friendly "Hey...could you try and not slam the door at 2am on a Saturday night?" or "Hey...would you mind moving your car into its parking spot so I can get mine out?"

This is where I prove all of you who think I'm an extrovert wrong. The only reason I haven't done this before is that THEY ARE STRANGERS! The idea of proactive relationship development with strangers I'm not even sure I want to know TOTALLY WEARS ME OUT...and it even STRESSES ME OUT. See...told you I'm an introvert!

grr!!

I'm feeling slightly less than fabulous today, and if I DO catch a cold just in time to be MISERABLE on the flight back to Houston, I'm going to...just...well, I'm going to have REALLY MEAN THOUGHTS about Mr. 44.

So, I'm about as loaded up on OTC meds as one can be without being in danger of over-dosing, and I'm going to take it e-a-s-y today...I think if someone gave me an indian name today it would be "wanders in a daze" because I just feel so loopy!

Or maybe it would be "prays for a strong immune system", but somehow I don't think that one quite has the right ring to it.

parking garage mores

Normally, I drive to the gym. This is mostly due to realizing that I seem to be particularly susceptible to weather-related colds and such. In the winter months, even the 10 minute walk home is like running the gauntlet of poor health (especially when I’ve just spent the last hour or so working up a pretty good ‘glisten’).

On Sunday afternoon, when I went down to the basement to hop in the car and point it in the direction of Peak Fitness, I was greeted with a fairly annoying sight – my neighbour, who lives in flat #44, had blocked me in (#45) with his car! See Figure 1.



The first thing I thought of (no, it wasn’t to key his car!) was to wait around and see how long it took for him to come back and have a little chat with him about parking garage mores. But, after 2 minutes of waiting, I thought, “Forget this. It's nice out today...I’m going to walk to the gym,” so off I went, and 12 minutes later was happily installed on my favorite treadmill.

A little over an hour later, I emerged from the gym to POURING DOWN RAIN. So there really is something to that whole “April Showers…” thing. Lovely.

After waiting around for 5 minutes, I thought “Forget this…I’ll just jog to the train station, walk through the subway, and jog the rest of the way home. It will be over in less than 10 minutes.” And so it went. Only, once I emerged from the pedestrian subway on the other side of the train station, I realized it was now SLEET that I was being pelted with as I scurried home. Seriously! And it’s APRIL!

The next time Mr. 44 blocks me in…it’s going to get ugly.

just when you think you've seen it all...

...somebody proves you wrong with something like this.

Who BUYS stuff like that??

i loathe me

At one of his weekly tea-parties somebody asked Simeon:(1) 'What, Sir, do you consider the principal mark of regeneration?' It was a probing question. With the current popularity of the 'born-again movement', one wonders how the average evangelical believer would reply today. This was Simeon's answer: 'the very first and indispensable sign is self-loathing and abhorrence. Nothing short of this can be admitted as an evidence of a real change ... I want to see more of this humble, contrite, broken spirit amongst us. It is the very spirit that belongs to self-condemned sinners ... This sitting in the dust is most pleasing to God ... give me to be with a broken-hearted Christian, and I prefer his society to that of all the rest ... Were I now addressing to you my dying words, I should say nothing else but what I have just said. Try to live in this spirit of self-abhorrence, and let it habitually mark your life and conduct.'(2)

'Self-loathing', 'self-condemnation', 'self-abhorrence'. The words grate on modem ears. The contemporary craze is for a bigger and better self-image. We are exhorted on all sides to love ourselves, forgive ourselves, respect ourselves, assert ourselves. And to be sure, as in all heresies, there are a few grains of truth in this one. For we should gratefully affirm ourselves as creatures made in the image of God, and as children of God redeemed by Christ and indwelt by his Spirit. In this mercy of God our Creator and Saviour we are to rejoice greatly, and there is much exhortation to such joy in Simeon's sermons.

But to rejoice in God is one thing; to rejoice in ourselves is another. Self-congratulation and the worship of God are mutually incompatible. Those who have a high view of themselves always have a correspondingly low view of God.

Notes:

1. Charles Simeon (1758-1836) Minister of Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge, 1783-1836.
2. Quoted in William Carus (editor), "Memoirs of the Life of the Reverend Charles Simeon", London 1848. pp. 651f.

--From Introduction to "Evangelical Preaching" (Sermons of Charles Simeon) (Portland: Multnomah, 1986), p. xxxix.

Go 'Stros!

My boys started the season off well, and I'm beaming with joy this morning. You can read Alyson Footer's story here. I still have major episodes of jealousy about her job.

I have no joint ownership agreement with Drayton, but still lovingly refer to the team collectively as "my boys", although most who have ever attended a game with me know that, in singular reference, only Lance is really "my boy" and the only one for whom I whoop and holler like a proper redneck...because he LOVES baseball, and (oh, by the way) he's REALLY GOOD AT IT!

eat-walking...

...not to be confused with sleep-walking. Also nothing like "whistling while you work", because that would be complicated and would just get messy.

Eat-walking is a phenomenon I have see elsewhere, but it seems quite prevalent here in the UK. I see it everywhere I go, not just in London. And this weekend, it happened to me.

I went in to do a little shopping, and was trying to hit as many shops as possible before they all started closing down. There's this great little Mediterranean food walk-up vendor about halfway down Oxford Street from Oxford Circus to Marble Arch...so I knew all day where I was going to grub, but then I realized that the streets were packed as much as (if not more so than) at Christmas...and if I wasn't going to take a load off and have a seat, why stand around just eating?

So I'm outing myself...I did it. I went eat-walking. And somehow it made me feel a little bit like a real local, rather than a temporary local. Mind you, it's not my preferred eating style, but when the food is eat-walking-friendly, why not?