baha sessions plug

Mike Hon recently posted a request for iTunes suggestions on his site. After much pain and agony (how can I choose just one song to recommend?), I offered a few tracks off Chris Isaak's Baha Sessions CD.

This is mostly a result of timing, as I've recently re-discovered the CD and have been listening non-stop (so, all the other fabulous songs I'd be tempted to recommend have been trumped by the recent Chris Isaak listening-spree).

However, since I had such a hard time recommending just one track, I thought I'd throw a plug out there for any and all to consider the entire CD.

Yes, it's available through iTunes.

No, you can't borrow my copy (I'm still enjoying my listening-spree).

that's a job opening

I sometimes think that I over-use this phrase, but maybe I don't. Recent example:

I happen to sit next to the CFO at my company (don't let yourself think that makes me anything close to that well-paid). She's fun and personable, and very attentive to details (and not just with numbers). She knows all about the 'grammar patrol', and considers herself a card-carrying member.

A few days ago, she left a letter she received from a solicitor on my desk with a note asking me if I'd like to give them any of our business.

--- And I quote: ---
Would you like to be updated quarterly on your contingent labor spend?

Do you need better contingent workforce management?

Would it be helpful for your organization, if you had migration and transition from non-core suppliers with consequent margin reduction?

If you answered yes to any of the following questions above, call me.
--- end quote ---

I'm not even going to touch the sentence structure of the 3rd question, or its effectiveness from a marketing stand-point.

What made me say "That's a job opening" is the phrase following questions above.

If you can't work out that following and above don't go together, do you REALLY expect me to trust you with updating my 'quarterly contingent labor spend'?

That error was enough for her (and for me) to consider this file 13 material. They'll never get our business. Think of all the money this lady spent on printing and postage!

You may think that's an extreme response, but I don't think so at all. If you can't take the time to make ABSOLUTELY SURE that your solicitation is ALL GOOD before sending it to countless numbers of potential clients...I'm NOT going to trust you to take care of my business needs. I'm not even going to grant you a meeting where you try and explain all your capabilities to me.

And while I'm on the subject...I'm also the girl who would throw out your resume because of a typo or spelling error. If you want me to EMPLOY you...check it, double-check it, have someone else check it, and then ask Mark Palmer to check it, and then CHECK IT AGAIN.

Somewhat of a soapbox topic for me...does this make me a mean person?

flag attack

Reading Todd's slap happy post reminded me of a driving program I'd like to implement.

Basically, the program would solicit the involvement of any and all drivers interested...but they would have to submit to a training course outlining (and possibly demonstrating) the desired driving techniques and driving etiquette in order to receive the necessary licensing and equipment.

Upon completion of training, each certified participant would receive a cross-bow-like device with miniature plungers as "ammunition". The plungers come with flags attached that are labeled "Stupid Driver". These tools would be used to "tag" those drivers who fail to demonstrate the desired driving techniques or etiquette.

If, in the course of a day, any given driver is tagged with 3 flags, that driver would lose all driving privileges for the duration of one week.

This may seem like a harsh punishment for only three flags...but consider a likely scenario. Realistically, not everyone who aims at a given driver is actually going to accomplish the tagging of that vehicle, for various reasons (including poor aim and radical driving on the offending driver's part). So if, given a reasonable amount of failed tagging attempts, a driver STILL manages to get tagged with 3 flags in one day...it's got to be a big sign. I think a week of the Houston METRO service would go a long way to correct poor driving habits.

not so deep thoughts

Yesterday, as I was walking through the lobby of my office building, I found myself stepping in such a way as to avoid stepping on the 'lines' created by the grout between the floor tiles. Most that know me would probably testify that I'm a little bit 'weird' about stuff like that - for example, I'm the girl who straightens all the magazines and gum cartons while in line at the grocery check-out.

However, I often find myself doing the 'step on a crack, break your momma's back' thing when I'm in a chipper mood and am just being silly.

But yesterday, the thought occurred to me: "Wouldn't it be horrible to be OCD about this for real? And wouldn't it REALLY be horrible if you were a basketball player and be OCD about this?" I mean, the tiles I was skipping around on were the standard 12"x12" tiles - and basketball players would have to jump around on their tip-toes to play my little game.

And then I laughed out loud at that mental picture. I hope nobody hear that!

i object!

Confession. Every time I hear someone I don't know speak about the Bible, my first and immediate position is to be wary. Call me a snob, call me an elitist, or call me closed-minded, but hear me out.

Variance abounds among lay-persons, theologians, philosophers, etc. on what is absolutely true (if that's even acknowledged), what is wise, what is right and what is wrong. If we are to make an attempt at making sense of it all, we have to learn to judge the words and actions of others. If we're ever expected to judge the words and actions of those who profess to be teachers and authority figures, we've got to have a litmus test. I firmly believe that litmus test should be Scripture, above all else.

Every now and again, I find myself wondering "How did those people end up drinking the kool-aid with Jim Jones?", and similar ponderings. The examples, specifically within the 'Christian' realm, are endless! Some people are going to groan at this, but I believe it's a lack of attention to detail. Groaners, bear with me...

Today, a good friend sent me a link to a website of a 'minister' who very much reminds me of another Jim Jones. The specific example, although worth a separate discussion, is not my point here. What concerns me is that there are bits and pieces that contain kernels of truth throughout this minister's website, but the bulk of the message throughout is full of extra-biblical and/or contra-biblical teaching. However, if all you know about Christianity is that Jesus is involved...anyone can throw down a reference or two, and if you're not watching, they'll throw down a lot of other stuff (that isn't Biblical) too, and you run the risk of putting your faith in a lie.

Whether Jim Jones (or anyone else like him) had good intentions in the beginning, it all falls apart when Scripture is not Supreme. It's bad hermeneutics in the extreme - coming to the Bible with pre-conceived notions about who God is, who man is, and how the two interact, etc. A good student of the Word does everything he can to come to the Bible with nothing, and lets the Bible inform him of who God is, who man is, how the two interact, etc. The Bible should be the basis of my theology, not the other way around. I think the biggest error we fall into is getting too far down the road with our theology and/or doctrine, and not far enough down the road with Scripture. Or we forget to take Scripture with us as we walk down the road with our theology and doctrine.

But back to the main point. How do we know what to accept from a speaker (using this term to encompass teacher, preacher, writer, etc)? And how do we know what to throw out? AND, how do we know when we should reject a speaker entirely?

Because I have found that I have (historically) been too easy on speakers that I like, despite the fact that they have some pretty poor theology, I try to ask myself some basic questions about each new speaker I hear. One often has to be a very active listener to get answers to some of these questions.

1. Is this person's message grounded in Scripture?
2 Peter 1:19-21
And we have something more sure, the prophetic word, to which you will do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts, knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone's own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

2. Does this person readily submit to the authority of Scripture?
2 Timothy 3:14-17
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom[a] you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

3. Is this person boasting in himself or in Christ?
2 Timothy 4:2-5
Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

1 Corinthians 1:30-31
He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. Therefore, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Whatever the questions are, if they aren't asked...anyone could end up drinking the kool-aid. And I certainly don't want to end up being THAT girl!

Genius, thy name is Starbucks

For some good entertainment, why don't you take 5 minutes to read this article about the genius of Starbucks, by David Garzian.

For those who don't have the time...just read my condensed report of the main ideas below (heavily edited for readability).

--- begin quote ---

Like few other companies in the world, Starbucks is adept at manipulating its customers' emotional weaknesses to generate cash.

The third place of American life
Like many others, I am a sucker for the ritualistic experience of what founder Howard Schultz has termed the "third place" of American life. It's a place without the stresses of the home or the office, a neutral ground where there are always "friends" behind the counter...returning to the homey confines of one's own Starbucks, staffed with people who care enough to remember something about us, provides a primal human connection.

A ridiculous premium for heating milk
Second, the cost of this third cup is ridiculous. Yet, despite being a value buyer in virtually every other part of my life, I pay without complaint. How crazy is it? Well, if you break down the components...the $1.37 premium is therefore just for the labor of steaming the milk, which takes about 20 seconds. If a barista can do three steamed milks in a minute and keep up that pace all day, then she's earning Starbucks around $246 an hour just by steaming milk.

Also, a lust for status emblems is an obnoxious burden that we carry around in our collective cerebral cortex. It's the same reason that businesspeople shake hands upon meeting, showing each other, in a subliminal gesture, that neither bears the calluses of hard labor (or a weapon)...these gestures bear identification to others that they are members of the same tribal caste.

Since it's fairly obvious that all the people riding the elevator in a downtown skyscraper are not day laborers, it seems that we then unconsciously take another step by holding an expensive white cup in our hands as a status symbol...a cup of Starbucks beams out a little message that we are wealthy enough not to care about overspending for coffee.

Starbucks card means money is no problem
Third, we allow Starbucks the right to earn interest on the $10-to-$50 value of our smart cards to satisfy a need for convenience -- and to offer another symbol of caste. On one level, flashing a card instead of cash shows that you are a regular, that you're in the club. On another, it offers a way to exhibit a sense that coins and dollar bills are trifles.

--- end quote ---

Further to the 'it's all about marketing' post, this is one of my favorite examples of the fact that I'm so impressed with them figuring out the brilliance of their model that I don't hold it against them for so blatantly 'using us'...in fact, I'm still happy to 'reward them' with my continued business for it.

Is that so horrible? I mean, it's capitalism at it's best!

it's all about marketing

I'd like to think I would have the same 'when life hands you lemons...make lemonade' attitude as this lady. I'm sure the insurance money helped...but CAPITALIZING on the tragic...that's where I hope I'd be able to respond in kind.

It really highlights the human condition of wanting to be 'in the club'. Clearly, we all have different 'clubs' we'd like to be a part of...but ordering something just because of a cool or unusual name (probably at an inflated price)?

Brilliant marketing. Which, by the way, is one of a two-part axiom under which I think the vast majority of the word, aware or not, operates. (We'll get to the second part another time.)

It's all about marketing. The first time I realized this truth I was shopping in that great retail mecca known as Target. I needed tape. Just enough tape to go with the wrapping paper and last-minute birthday present I was also buying on my way to the birthday party (don't judge...you've done it too).

As I stood in the office supplies aisle, I was overwhelmed with choices. Permanent tape. Temporary tape. Shiny tape. Invisible tape. This width. That width. Scotch brand tape. Target brand tape (probably made by 3M - who makes Scotch brand, sold at a lower cost but still going to 3M's bottom line revenue). And then...something caught my eye. It was a Scotch brand tape, but it was bound in a curvy, shiny, fluorescent green tape dispenser...a FAR CRY from the clunky, angular, plain 'standard issue' dispenser. I was sold. I grabbed it (and no, I have no idea if it was permanent or temporary, shiny or invisible) and was on my way. Give me a break, I was in a hurry to wrap the aforementioned last-minute gift and make a fashionably late appearance to the birthday party. As I stood in line at the register, it hit me.

Target brand tape: $0.69
Average price of Scotch brand tape: $0.99
Shiny green dispenser Scotch tape: $1.39

I was SUCKERED by the marketing machine. Me! A reasonably intelligent and self-aware consumer. And I bought it anyway...I mean, what's a measly $0.40 to me? Answer: not much. What's a measly $0.40 to 3M's bottom line? Answer: at thousands of units sold...it's BIG MONEY. Brilliant.

Now...allow me to connect the dots of my fragmented psyche. Why did I buy the fancy green dispenser tape? Because I thought it was cool, and I want to be "in the club" (consciously or not). Just like the people ordering the "elephant set" at the "Restaurant Where Elephants Have Been."

This idea is at the heart of all great marketing. But the brilliant ones...they make you fall for it without realizing it. Or, they make it such that, even if you do realize it, you reward them by buying it anyway.

Consider Starbucks.

Author's note: the Target incident happened way too long ago for me to remember the actual prices of the various tape products, but for the sake of illustration, allow me to declare that they are reasonably accurate, comparatively speaking.

they

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm counting on that!

Of course, They also say "out of sight; out of mind" (about which I hope They are wrong). "They" say lots of things that are obscure, ridiculous, or down right contradictory.

They're also pretty nice sometimes. A few weeks ago, during a Round Rock Express (Astros minor league team) game, one of the guys hit a home run, and a fan in our section stood up and started collecting money from the rest of us. My friends and I were confused (and didn't readily make the connection between home-run-hit and hat-collection). The guys in front of us then explained: "They say that since minor leaguers don't make much money, when they hit a home run, the fans take up a hat collection and give all the cash to the home-run-hitter." Isn't that kind?

I wonder if we'd have done a hat collection that night if They hadn't told us about the sad state of minor league baseball salaries? Or, rather, if They hadn't told someone, who told someone else, who told the guy who started the hat collection? See...that's the biggest problem with it all...by the time you hear what They say, it's so far removed, you can never get back to them to ask real questions (and believe you me, I have questions).

One of them is this: Do They even know they're "They"? I submit that They do NOT. Who knows who they are? See...if I could just figure out who Who is...I'll be getting somewhere.

the 'kiss cam' proposal

Why? Really...why does this keep happening? During the latter portion of the "kiss cam" at almost every Astros home game that I have attended, we find ourselves participating in one of the most critical moments during the life of any long-term couple: the proposal. I don't understand this phenomenon.

Let the record reflect that I am, in fact, quite a fan of the game...but there's much ground to be covered before I'd consider it dreamy for my guy to ask for my hand in front of a crowd of roughly 30,000 - 40,000 people. And I say this because I think the vast majority of the girls I see trying out their new ring on the jumbo-tron for all to see are in my club.

Let's evaluate the typical "kiss cam" proposal. Guy is wearing at least one piece of Astros (or baseball) paraphernalia; Girl is generally NOT wearing such gear. Guy is awkwardly watching the cam until he realizes that "he's on", then scrambles to a knee (assuming camera position allows for such a gesture), and hopes for the best as the crowd looks on (and while I, admittedly, am screaming "SAY NO!" because I think any guy that doesn't know me (or her) well enough to know this is NOT my (or her) dream does not deserve a YES to that question). The whole thing seems "hurried", Girl usually looks rather caught off guard, always gives a big nod to Guy (and the camera) and all the world cheers as she tries on the ring. Somehow I feel like I'm invading their personal space...and I didn't at all mean to do it! (But I can't not look at it.)

Two clarifications:
1. Guys, if your girl can out-quote you on any given player's stats, college play, or rules of the game (especially differences between secondary, college, minor and major league rules)...you *might* consider it...but I'd ask at least one of her (closest) girlfriends before popping the question in front of us all.

2. Even if #1 above applies (which it doesn't, and never will), the ONLY acceptable situation in which I would accept, dare I say enjoy, a proposal from my guy during a major league ball game is if Guy is WEARING A TEAM UNIFORM BECAUSE HE GETS PAID TO WEAR IT (no...buying the full get-up from the gift shop doesn't count), and he brings me out ON THE FIELD. I mean, if we're going to share this with everyone else, let's make it special...not a 15-second blip on the screen. Stop the game (between innings, of course). Make the national television coverage "go long" on commercials...heck, they'd probably thank us for the extra advertising dollars! Give Lidge a few extra minutes to warm up for the 9th. We need it!