word of the day: attenuate

Despite having worked for an oil & gas contractor for over 4 years, I still often come across stuff that is so full of technical language that it takes me a few attempts to make sense of even the normal words. One such example from today:

"We are especially interested in your ability to perform strength level analyses, ductility level analyses, nonlinear time-history analyses, and to quantify source-to-site motion attenuation."

The more I read the sentence, I began to realize that I understood everything except the word "attenuation" (and what the heck a nonlinear time-history looks like), so I looked it up, hoping I could figure out a way to throw it into a normal conversation and enjoy the funny looks I know I'd get in response.

Turns out, it's not really a technical word at all (or, not exclusively, anyway) and it might just be my new favorite word.

at·ten·u·ate (v. tr.)

1. To make slender, fine, or small: The drought attenuated the river to a narrow channel.
2. To reduce in force, value, amount, or degree; weaken: Medicine attentuated the fever's effect.
3. To lessen the density of; rarefy.
4. Biology. To make (bacteria or viruses) less virulent.
5. Electronics. To reduce (the amplitude of an electrical signal) with little or no distortion.

Isn't it great!? I wonder why people don't use it more often!

Author's note: I realize this material is a bit dry for a Friday, so if you want a good chuckle, head on over to Laurie's corner of the world wide web and look for her weekly installment of the "friday funnies" for a good laugh.

bt update

(for the record, i assume that most people really don't need or want to hear all the annoying details, but i'm finding that putting my frustration out there, ostensibly for all to see, is a rather cathartic activity...so for the sake of my own sanity, i write)

for those who are waiting on pins and needles for the final outcome...another episode in the epic drama:

17 october (last tuesday): this was the day the last incompetent promised that my broadband service would be working, which of course came and went without event.

20 october (last friday): this was the day i called to cancel my bt broadband service and managed to speak to the most intelligent person in the company who talked me through a couple of remaining options, which included sending out new equipment (free of charge) to double-check that it isn't a hardware issue, and then finally sending out an engineer to my home (which, apparently, it's STILL not time to do). the incompetents in the faults department never even MENTIONED a potential hardware issue, and thusly never offered to replace the equipment. so we ordered the equipment and it smart bt lady said it should arrive on 25 october, but will have to be delivered to my home address for a stupid but immovable reason. this means that i will have to either catch an early train home some day this week to get to the sorting office in time to pick it up or wait until saturday. how annoying.

21-23 october: hmm...wonder if i should have just told the lady i wasn't interested and to still just cancel the service and go with a t-mobile hotspot account and limit my away-from-work internet usage to starbucks' opening hours...?

24 october (this past tuesday): first call ever FROM the incompetents since the last conversation with them (14 october) which resulted in the 17 october deadline for a working connection. this guy claimed that they had "repeatedly tried to contact me for the past several days on my home phone". i politely (are you impressed?) reminded him that i've told at least 4 different people that i'm NEVER home during business hours, and that they should ALWAYS call me on my mobile phone...which all have promised they have duly noted in my account. riiight. i explained the 20 october phone call with smart bt lady to the incompetent. he agreed to call back on wednesday night, after i'd had time to receive and hook up the new equipment.

25 october (yesterday): the day came and went without the arrival of the equipment or a note from the postal service about attempted delivery, etc. hmm, confidence in smart bt lady now decreasing. but of course, i got a call from the incompetents while i was at the gym, and therefore a voicemail, which said "if your connection still doesn't work after installing the new equipment tonight, please call us back" which clearly means "this is your last call from us...your turn". good thing i had a really tough work-out and was completely knackered...lacking the physical or mental strength to even be annoyed with smart bt lady OR the incompetents.

26 october (today): i have no idea what to do now. desperately hope new equipment arrives today but not even cautiously optimistic. maybe if new equipment does't arrive today, will call tomorrow and re-try to cancel and hope equipment order never went out and i don't have to deal with returning it, etc.

number of calendar days since broadband was supposedly activated: 48

...to be continued...

soy milk is not for me

So I'm reading this book called "Eat Right for Your Type", which is mostly about how the foods you eat are processed differently by your body based on your blood type (A, B, AB or O). It postulates that some things that are GREAT for Type Bs are almost poisonous for Type As and so on. So it naturally includes some recommendations for the types of things you should and should not eat (and drink) for the various types. So I thought I'd give it a shot.

I'm Type A, and the author reckons that my kind tend to do well on vegetarian diets (um, but I'm from Texas!) and recommends limited dairy intake (doesn't this guy know that fat = flavor?). OK...I can get my protein from black bean soup and other non-fajita sources. And I can give up brie and focus my cheese-loving self on the goat variety (which is thankfully allowed). Sure. I'm convinced I can do this.

One of the author's recommendations: for cereal and latte lovers like me...soy milk. Right then. Now, I DO like steamed soy beans (i.e. in their original natural state), but historically I'm generally opposed to consuming this food source after it's moved down the production line to either "milk" or a "burger" (because, honestly, it's just weird), but I'll try just about anything once. I re-read the chapter on Type As last night, made out my grocery list, and set off this morning with an optimistic smile on my face.

Things didn't really start to go badly until I got to my desk, having stopped for my once-a-week Starbucks latte (yeah, normally I get the only-slightly-cheaper version at the train station, which is surprisingly tasty, but I was running late this morning). Walking away from the barista, I'm thinking "from now on, I'm a soy latte girl". First sip..."hey, this isn't too bad". I even felt like my old Starbucks-order-snob self. And then the aftertaste hit.

My latte tastes like vegetables. This is unacceptable.

I've since chucked the soy latte (that's £3 I'll never recover), scratched soy milk off the grocery list, and decided that if there's any hope for this experiment, it's going to have to be non-fat lattes for this little chickie.

If you haven't already managed to retrain your brain to expect your milk (and, I'm assuming, your burgers) to taste like veggies. Take my advice: don't do it!

small victories

Yesterday, I received a phone call from the BT customer complaints department that was in response to my dispute over a £55 charge they levied for sending out a technician to check my PHONE line (note this is totally unrelated to the broadband drama - more on that coming soon).

After a very short explanation, the lady caved and agreed to reverse the charge. I'm still in shock.

Score one for the little people.

evidence that i don't hate musicals

Despite claiming that I'm not really into musicals (categorically speaking), I freely admit to LOVING this show, which I've now seen twice in London. About a year ago, it was the first show I saw in the West End since moving here. In that performance, Linda Carter played the role of Mamma Morton. To say that her performance was sub-optimal is to be kind.

For the record, Wonder Woman's appearance was not the draw of the show for me.

The second viewing came this weekend. This time around, I was actually lured in by the hope of a better portrayal of Mamma Morton and by the fact that Ashlee Simpson (yes, sister of Jessica) was to be playing the role of Roxie Hart. Good move, I say. After that lip-syncing debacle on SNL, surely a stint in live theatre will prove she's got decent vocal skills.

Ashlee's first number wasn't stellar, but she warmed up over the course of the show, and by the end, I have to admit that I was impressed with her performance. Of course, going in with zero expectations probably helped - the only direction to move was up.

I did have to giggle a bit when, during one of her numbers she had to sing “…they’re gonna recognize…my nose…” I think a tiny audible escaped my lips, but it couldn’t be helped.

Sadly, the second attempt at Mamma Morton wasn't as much of an improvement as I'd hoped it would be. But let's be honest...who's EVER going to top Queen Latifah?

adventures in incompetence

For those of you keeping score, I'm now at day 37 of no-Internet-connection-at-home life, thanks to our friends at BT, to whom I'll refer to as "The Incompetents". I have logged over 10 hours of phone calls with them since I've been keeping track.

I can't be bothered to go into the details, because, frankly, I'm sure my 2.7 readers don't care...and because it makes me sad.

The one bit of news I'll report is this: I actually yelled at someone on the phone on Saturday.

I haven't done that in so long that I can't remember the last time it happened (it's been years, people). And it made me mad (and if you know me at all, you'll know that one of the things that really makes my blood boil is when I'm mad about being mad) and it made me really sad.

So I'm sad today...in general...because (as ludicrous as it is) this whole dramatic saga is now affecting my general state of mind. How sad is THAT?!

PSL envy

Well folks, not only is the UK behind in (most) film release dates...I think they're behind in seasonal liquid degustation supply.

Thanks to Hot Toddy (and friends), I've just discovered that Starbucks makes something called a "Pumpkin Spice Latte", which I already know I love, despite the fact that I've never tasted it. (See, I'm new to the latte club...and since I used to be a faithful member of the mocha club, I never even registered names of anything ending in "...latte" before.)

Now, I'm not sure if the Marketing folks on this side of the pond are purposefully remiss on this front, because even though they don't go for the whole "Thanksgiving" thing over here, it's still AUTUMN...and aren't pumpkins part of the general feel of the season despite the lack of Pilgrims and Indians dotting the decorative landscape? I certainly would have thought so.

I suppose I can live without the PSL, but his whole thing is already making me nervous that they may forego my beloved Peppermint Mocha come Christmas-time. (Note: that's peppermint, folks...NOT just mint, as the former is made with peppermint syrup and the latter with crème de menthesyrupm - huge difference.)

Good thing I'll be home for Christmas. If I can't get the P-Mocha here, I'll be able to get my fix at home, and it will just make the trip all the more sentimental.

just a spoonful of sugar...

Although I was still a bit skeptical at intermission (no, not even cautiously optimistic)...in the end I really enjoyed the show. I think my skepticism was more related to a generally bad mood thanks to a ridiculously drama-filled week (many thanks to BT). It sucks to be pre-mad or pre-irritated, so I'm glad Scarlett Strallen and Gavin Creel wore me down during the second act with their excellent portrayals of the beloved and iconic characters of Mary Poppins and Bert.

I've been alternating between singing (yes, out loud) "Steppin' Time" and the title track ever since I left the theater last night.

i'm trapped

Five weeks, one day and at least 6 hours of phone calls into the Internet-getting process, and BT still hasn't connected me to the (seemingly) ubiquitous Internet from home.

In the last week, the number of attempted phone calls to BT has escalated, as has the amount of time that I've spent on hold or explaining my situation (for the millionth time). I am so tired of spelling my full name and confirming the first line of my address and my post code that I could...well, spit (as my mom would say).

In the latest series of infuriating moments, I was told by technical support on Saturday that I needed to speak with the Order Management Helpdesk because there was a "provisioning issue" and the order had never been processed (WHAT!???). After being transferred, I spoke to those charming folks (and I use that term rather loosely), and they confirmed all was well on their end. Back to technical support I go for yet another round of technical support troubleshooting ("Can you tell me what the problem seems to be, Miss Kirpta? Is the DSL light flashing on your router...?"). I was then told that there is a "problem between the exchange and my phone line" and that they were "working on the problem right now"...and that it would be resolved within the "next 24 hours". Yeah. Sure. This is me holding my breath. So don't ask me why I've turned the color of Smurfette.

Today I decided that I'd spend my hold time between fruitless conversations with technical support a bit more productively...while I'm at work. I managed to get some weak-willed soul to hand the phone over to a supervisor who, after only 5 minutes of discussion, said that he needed to do some research on my account with the Orders Department and the Maintenance Department, and promised to call me back personally in 2 hours. The lying bastard.

Three hours after that empty promise, I called back - determined to get to the bottom of the situation - and spoke to a new person ("...K-E-P-R-T-A...4 Willows Court, and the post code is SW19 1UE"). This time, I just cut her off at the beginning of her questionnaire ("No...I'm sorry...I'm not prepared to go through that round of questions because I've done it 5 times in the last 72 hours and we're not going to make any progress going down that road.") and suggested she just put me on hold and read the notes on my account. She came back, asked to place me on hold again so she could do a tiny bit of research, and returned only to tell me that I needed to call the Order Management Helpdesk. Oh no.

As of right now, I'm no better off than I ever have been, and the last girl I spoke to flat out refused to help me any further or transfer me to a supervisor unless I call back from home so she can go through the troubleshooting questionnaire. As if I'm actually going to ever speak to her again...?

I'm so tired and frustrated that I actually feel depressed...and oppressed. How does one get so utterly trapped under the corporate customer disservice department mousewheel, and what does one do when she can't get anyone above a call center flunky on the line?

I can't WAIT to get it all resolved and working. The first call I'm going to make after I've managed to get on the Internet from home is going to be to the billing department to find out where I address invoices. Because I'm going to be sending them an invoice for all the time I've spent on the phone with them. These are hours for which I have NOTHING to show but a body full of elevated blood pressure, and I'm never going to get that time back, so the most I can hope for is some other form of compensation.

rant

I know I'm a self-proclaimed member of the grammar patrol, and prone to what some would consider an unnecessarily exacting nature when it comes to grammar, diction and marketing.

If you don't care about grammar, diction or marketing...that's REALLY fine with me. If we all had passion for the same things here on earth, it would be a boring place. Variety is the spice of life, and so on.

However, I think it's sad when people who don't want to bother with getting things "just so" in personal correspondence think it's OK to not be OVER THE TOP with editing, spell-checking and proof reading in a professional setting.

Example: there is a major internal project going on at my company, the product of which is being billed as "world class" and "state of the art". I've just read the most recent newsletter that has been issued by the project team (which was distributed to the entire company), and I'm so frustrated:

• TWO different registered phrases that we use ALL THE TIME are not written appropriately (and by this I don't mean that they just happened to leave off the circle-R symbol).
• The marketing tagline that the company has been touting for about a year is used repeatedly throughout the newsletter - but is NEVER written the same way twice.
• There is an error in the page numbering of the newsletter.
• The name of the actual project/product is Trademarked, and there is inconsistent application of the TM symbol!

I realize it's just a newsletter. But honestly...if you want me to really believe that what you're doing in WORLD CLASS, then make EVERYTHING related to it WORLD CLASS, including the newsletter.

I know...I know. I should just quit my job and go to work for a publishing house or find some other place where I can put my red pen to better and more regular use.

Why am I such a snob?! I even annoy myself with it sometimes (especially when I make these same kinds of mistakes myself - but that only demonstrates the fact that we ALL need editors and proof-readers), but I can't NOT care about excellence. I am desperate to find a balance to this frustration...but haven't found it yet, clearly.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm not saying that nobody should ever be allowed to make a mistake, and that one should be hung by his toenails in the first instance of such an offense. But habitual disregard for silly mistakes really winds me up.

the importance of being earnest...

...in Biblical exposition.

Of the (many) synonyms for "earnest" in the thesaurus, I'm specifically thinking of "exacting" and "unrelenting"...I don't think everyone needs a degree in theology and mad skills in the Greek and Hebrew languages to undertake critical Biblical exposition, but there are FAR too many user-friendly tools out there to leave it to a surface view of the modern language when it comes to interpreting the meaning of Scripture.

A good example from my beloved John Stott (emphasis mine):

"The first characteristic of heart-worship is that it is rational; the mind is fully involved in it. For the 'heart' in Scripture is not simply equivalent to the emotions, as it usually is in common parlance today. In biblical thought the 'heart' is the centre of the human personality and is often so used that the intellect is more emphasized than the emotions. Thus, the exhortation in Proverbs 23:26, 'My son, give me your heart,' has often been interpreted as an entreaty for our love and devotion.

It has served as a convenient text for many sermons on whole-hearted discipleship. But in reality it is a command to listen, to pay attention, to sit up and take notice, an appeal more for concentration than for consecration."

--From "Christ the Controversialist" (London: Tyndale Press, 1970), p. 162.

In my (clearly) not so humble opinion, even the most occasional teacher or Bible study leader should consider his role as a faithful steward of the word so weighty that he should devote a considerable portion of his preparation time to an earnest search for the original audience, context and meaning of the text to be reviewed.

Without understanding those things, what's the point of the study?

random bits

I'm still without Internet connectivity at home, and there are weeks of random pictures that are would-be blog entries just waiting for upload on my sad little digital camera. Technically, I could download them to my laptop, save them to a memory stick, bring them to the office for download to this computer and then proceed with blogging about them...but I can't be bothered to go through all that when it should just be a few easy clicks here and there at home.

BT maintains that my phone line is working, but that I have purchased a faulty phone...and I don't use the phone often enough for it to have made it to the top of my priority list to go back to the store and exchange the alleged faulty equipment, partly because I bought it at a shop in Wimbledon, and since all shops close by 6:00pm, the likelihood of me making it back to my neighborhood to run home, grab the phone and make it back to the shop for an exchange is highly unlikely. Yeah, sure I could bring the bad phone with me to work, but that would involve carrying something superfluous both to AND from work. Oh, and I'd have to find the receipt. Likewise, I could just go and purchase a new phone during my lunch break, and take the bad phone back on the weekend, but I can't be bothered to do that either.

BT also maintains that my Internet connectivity was switched on sometime during business hours on the 21st September. Liars. Not only is that exactly 2 weeks after they originally told me it would be switched on, but it's also (as previously stated) still not working. During a sick day last week, on which all I wanted to do was lie unconscious on the sofa, I spent 1 hour on the phone with 2 different "customer service" personnel. Neither were very service oriented. The latest is that they've confirmed there's a fault on the line (shocking!) and they'll have to fix it from their end, although thankfully there will be no in-home appointment required (but I have my doubts). Not that they can tell me when that might be. So I guess I'm to just check my Internet connection daily in hopes of a jubilant moment of glee when the service is finally fault-free. It's like waiting for the Lord to come back if you aren't a Christian, but have been raised in a church-going environment. You've been told He's coming...but you're not convinced. (Yes, I realize this analogy quickly breaks down, because you wouldn't be waiting in hope...blah blah)

I'm desperately trying to blame a co-worker for the cold I've been haggling with for the last 5 days, but he's having none of it.

I found a church I love, and am hoping it's where I'll end up staying...it all rests on how things go over the next couple of weeks getting connected to their version of "home groups" (more on this later).

I've been made aware that I have a habit of singing in public, rather loudly for one who considers herself to be singing "under her breath", and I can't make myself stop. I just like to sing. I want to be a singer. I mean, not professionally...but just, you know...so maybe I could sing in church someday. But even if I had a fabulous voice, I totally go to pieces sometimes during the musical worship...and I don't recall that happening much from people who are up there leading the congregation, so that might present a bit of a hurdle.

It's not fun to blow your nose when you live in London and you're a bit squeamish about icky things.

I like being a train commuter. I can read, watch people, listen to music or listen to a sermon (I highly recommend downloading Piper's sermons from his website)...all without the pesky worry of crashing the car. And it gives me time to wake up in the mornings and decompress in the afternoons.

I want more vacation days as part of my compensation package. Living in the UK has ruined me for life in this regard. People take 2- and 3-week holidays here and still have enough days left to have the odd three-day weekend or random personal days. I'm pre-sad about losing the extra time when I go back home. Note to self: must work on negotiation skills.

I don't love Kit-Kat bars as much as I used to. I don't know if this is because my general love of sweets is fading, or if I'm just becoming a chocolate snob (because, let's face it...Kit Kat isn't really at the posh end of the chocolate spectrum).