yarr!

Ahoy me hearties! Today be yer chance to raise the Jolly Roger and enjoy some grog whilst ye raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer yer weasely black guts out!

Aye! Ye guessed it!

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day!

don't you hate it when...

...YOU are the idiot of the situation?

I moved into my new flat exactly 2 weeks ago today (8/31). When I called BT to ask them to move my telephone service to join me they said they could switch the service over on the following Monday (9/4). There was no service technician required, that's just...well, that's just when it would happen.

(Did anyone else get visions/memories of a Brian Regan bit just then? "Can you flip it now? Can I come and flip it?")

Oh, and by the way, my broadband service (also provided by BT) wouldn't be switched over until Friday (9/8) because BT needs "at least 7 days notice to move broadband services". (Whatever.)

I don't use the land line telephone all that much, so I noticed on Friday night (9/8) when I tried to set up the broadband that neither was working. I couldn't manage to remember to call BT for help during working hours until Monday (9/11), at which point they decided it best to send out a technician, whose first available appointment was "sometime between 8 and 12" on Thursday (today, 9/14). Great. I'll take the morning off and stroll into the office at lunchtime. No worries.

This morning, at the very same moment my arse landed on my desk chair (7:45am), I remembered the appointment with BT and cried aloud:

"DAMMIT!"

Now I get to start all over again with BT, and I have nobody to blame but myself.

mark your calendars!

September 29 is
Office Olympics Day!

There's still time to prepare! Recruit fellow team-mates...challenge rival departments...create charts and spreadsheets for multi-heat events...design the gold, silver and bronze medals!

Come on, people! Give that competitive spirit a pair of wings!

it's not all about me...

...even though almost every time I check out John's blog, I think it is.

See, John has some whiz-bang super-cool something going on in the depths of his blog engine that knows it's me every time I visit his blog (since I've posted a comment in the past, maybe?), so every time I check it out to see if he's written anything recently (and he hasn't...shame), his blog says "Welcome Back, Dovie!"

The very first thing I see is "Dovie!" in bold letters - and I think, for about 0.5 seconds, that he's written a whole blog entry about me...but he hasn't.

Oh, the dissappointment!!

the wales / johnson soundtrack

Well...since Dennis outed them here, I figure this is a good place to create the Dennis Wales / Laurie Johnson soundtrack.

My suggestions, in no particular order:

• "Angel Eyes" - Jeff Healey / John Hiatt (Master Hits / The Best of...)
• "Over My Head - The Fray (How to Save a Life)
• "White T-Shirt" - Tara Leigh Cobble (Things You Can't Stop...)
• "Harbor" - ViennaTeng (Warm Strangers)
• "Strange Condition" - Pete Yorn (Music for the Morning After)
• "All About Our Love" - Sade (Lovers Rock)
• "Falling into Love" - Dana Glover (Testimony)
• "Heart of Mine" - Norah Jones & The Peter Malek Group (New York City)
• "Don't Give Up On Me" - Solomon Burke (title track)
• "When Love Comes to Town" - U2 & BB King (The Best of 1980 - 1990)
  
  

my montage soundtrack

If memory serves, most music montages are only long enough to warrant the use of one song (edited for flow, even). However, I do like the idea of a soundtrack, because in real life...the montage does last a long time, doesn't it?

Therefore, I will list below several songs I know are on the soundtrack...even though there are others that will inevitably be added as time goes on.

• "This is Your Life" - Switchfoot (The Beautiful Letdown)
• "Where Will I Be" - Emmylou Harris (Wrecking Ball)
• "Hope to Carry On" - Caedmon's Call (Caedmon's Call)
• "She Must and Shall Go Free" - Derek Webb (title track)
• "I'm Alright" - Kenny Loggins (various albums)
• "A Foggy Day (In London Town)" - Michael Buble (It's Time)
• "I Like the Way You Move" - Bodyrockers (Bodyrockers)
• "Oh Eh" - Gipsy Kings (The Very Best of the Gipsy Kings)
• "Springtime Indiana" - Sandra McCracken (Gypsy Flat Road)
• "All That You Have is Your Soul" - Tracy Chapman (Crossroads '89)

music montage

you know how in the movies you'll see some dramatic scene followed by a music montage that shows you all sorts of bits and pieces of "life after the scene" during which the person in the dramatic situation gets her stuff together, recovers from the drama, or goes into a really productive time in life that's not really all that fabulously exciting but is full of that 'good life stuff that just needs to be done'?

yeah, well...i think i'm about to enter a music montage.

i like these moments...er, montages.

in fact, when people ask me how things are going when i'm in one of these seasons, i think i'm going to start saying "i'm in a montage" instead of saying "oh, nothing terribly exciting" because although the bits of the montage aren't exciting in and of themselves - i mean, there's a reason they put all that stuff to music and just show you the highlights - the fact that i'm in a montage actually is exciting.

friday funnies - or not

I know I've just totally plagiarized the "friday funnies" title from Laurie, but she inspired me...and she's way funnier than me, so I don't think I'm stealing any thunder here or anything.

I started this post on Tuesday thinking the list would create itself. In the end, I only came up with three things to include, which I happen to think are funny...but also happen to have been said by ME.

• "These guys are NOT Pennsylvania Dutch." (okay, well, this was me quoting something I read on the Internet, but still...)
• "Let's review the technical definition of homelessness, shall we?"
• "I'm reading this book that keeps making me think of you; it's called 'Don't Waste Your Life'."
  

I'm not even sure if they're funny. I mean...I think they were at the time...but when you look back on the funniest moments of the week, that you can actually remember (by the way, how DO you do that Laurie?), shouldn't there be some sort of warning light that goes off when they're all quotes of yourself?

side note

For those of you who may have heard my nightmare haircut story recently...just a clarification: NO...this is NOT where I got my hair cut. I would have taken one look at that sign and kept on walkin'.



(Thanks for the pic, Todd)

sad day

My office friend, described in this post back in July, is wearing a short-sleeve button up shirt with a tie today.

He does get points for the button up shirt, rather than button down - and if you want to know about that, maybe I'll write about it tomorrow - but gets complete disqualifiation for today's ensemble thanks to the short sleeves.

Guys...please pay attention...don't EVER wear a tie with ANY short sleeve shirt. In fact, you shouldn't even OWN a short-sleeve button up in a solid colored "wear this to the office" kind of material.

When I saw it, I sighed "Oh NO" (very Phoebe-esque) audibly. He didn't hear. Thank God for small blessings.

For the record, it's not an eternal deal-breaker...the boy can be taught (I mean, he went to Oxford and all...so surely he's a fast learner), but it's still a sad day.

quotable seuss

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
  - Dr. Seuss

don't use your brain

I think this is what the TSA folks tell all their bag-checkers at the airports. I mean, if they were to let people judge for themselves what is safe and what isn't safe to carry on a plane...they might let the wrong person through the line. That's the only way I can reconcile what happened to me on Sunday.

I flew back to the UK from Houston on Sunday night. I dutifully checked online to see what I was now allowed to carry on the aircraft, and it looked like there was nothing in my purse that would be considered contraband. Yay!

I made it through the first security screening without any problems. I did a little shopping and got to the gate with a new book ("This is NOT Chick Lit", more on that after I've actually read it) and a few magazines to enjoy.

When they called our flight for boarding, I passed through the gate and into the hallway leading to the plane...and here's where things went dreadfully wrong.

I saw that we were being put through a secondary security screening after the gate...no problem. I'm a happily compliant traveler. I waited to be called forward, and AS I WAS STEPPING UP TO THE TABLE I hear one of the TSA staff members say "If we haven't called you to the side, please keep moving forward". I immdiately think "Grr...I wouldn't have to wait for this if I'd been here the last time he said that", but in reality I don't mind...I've got nothing to hide.

Then the guy searching my purse says, "Oh...I can't let you take this with you" and pulls out a small almost-empty tube of lip gloss. BLAST! Then he spots the replacement tube for the soon-to-be-discarded one..."Oh...not this one either"...rummage...rummage...then, "What's this one?" My reply: "Well, it's not lip gloss, but it's not a solid lipstick either." TSA guy: "Oh, sorry...that one's out too."

Walking away, I'm thinking "DAMMIT...I just lost at least $25 worth of lip stuff because I didn't hear or realize they were only doing spot checks at the gate!"

Normally, this wouldn't irritate me that much, because, well...maybe I didn't read Continental's website closely enough...and maybe it still says (or implies) that lip gloss isn't ok. So...I decided about 2 minutes after the lip-stuff-confiscation that I was over it.

BUT...somewhere along the way on the flight, I reached into my purse to get my pen (oh, yes...to fill out my landing card) and what did I find? Are you ready for it?

• one remaining tube of lip gloss
• one pointed-tip metal fingernail file

SO many more thoughts on the subject...but I'll just end with this:

SERIOUSLY????

keeping it real

I got some new body lotion. It's from Kiehl's. They make really good stuff. I've liked every single product I've ever had with their label on it.

Their product labels are very old-world apothecary-like (well, that's how they look to me), and just beg to be read (I mean, there's a whole lot of text there, compared to the average label). As I read the label on my new bottle of lotion, I was amused by the claims that it makes...apparently, the marketing folks at Kiehl's belive this particular it's so good that this is what they say about it ON THE BOTTLE: "Continued use for 10 days will provide a skin texture heretofore unattainable."

I think it takes a lot of confidence (to put it lightly) to make that sort of statement.

However, I've had (and have been using) the lotion for 6 days, and I think the good folks at Kiehl's are just keeping it real...I haven't even made it to day 10 yet and I'm already impressed with my new and improved skin texture. No wonder this lotion is one of the best-selling things in their shops.

Now I don't want to hear a peep from all you people out there who are thinking "yeah...sure...10 consecutive days of ANY lotion would probably yield a skin texture heretofore unattainable". I'm not interested in your naysaying. Just let me be with my over-priced lotion. It's the closest to posh I'm ever going to get, so I'd like to enjoy my pseudo-poshness in peace and tranquility...as I smile silently to myself over my soft and supple skin. I deserve to enjoy it - I paid good money for it!

6 random facts

1. The first movie I remember seeing in a theater was Xanadu, and I still sing the theme song in the shower sometimes.
2. I can make a very weird shape with my tongue.
3. I played the flute in middle school, and still regret ever giving it up.
4. I had my first boyfriend in kindergarten.
5. My dad helped build the Astrodome.
6. I can say the Pledge of Allegience in French.

bugger

Has anyone ever noticed that after the first person makes a comment on a blog entry (on the blogspot platform) that the page thereafter reads "1 comments" until another comment is made and all is right in the subject/verb agreement universe again.

Man...that bugs!!

in julia's shoes

Thanks to my good friend Mike, I have some really sweet friends in London that invited me to the BBC Proms on Friday night.



The BBC Proms is a classical concert series that runs for several weeks and features various conductors and orchestras. This year the Proms is celebrating Mozart's 250th birthday, and quite a few performances are of his various works, but we saw a SPECTACULAR performance of Symphony Fantastique by Berlioz.

I felt like I was in Julia Roberts' shoes for two reasons:

1. TOTAL "Pretty Woman" scene - all dressed up, sitting in box seats at the very fancy Royal Albert Hall and sipping champagne.
2. The same piece of music is prominant in another of Julia's movies, "Sleeping with the Enemy".

For the record, the entirety of the piece is much less ominous than the bits that are played in that film.

the irony of it all

So, I have a good friend (we'll call her Heather) who totally goes gaga over the South African accent. I myself am partial to the Scottish accent (as has been well documented).

Now...there's a South African guy at MY office...and a Scottish guy at HER office. And by "at MY/HER office" I mean to say that we both have to speak to these guys daily...it's not like either of them is some random guy at the other end of the floor that we maybe talk to once every few weeks.

What's up with that?!

wasted time?

I fell in love with all things Scottish about 9 years ago...but recently my eyes were opened to a related group of people - the Irish - who have given the Scots a run for their money to occupy that special place in my heart.

Now I've discovered that I may have been misdirected in my affection all this time...because apparently, I would settle well in the land of St. Patrick.

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

sigh

I went to my first-ever salsa lesson last night with a friend from work. Two words: GOOD TIMES!

Dancing is one of many times in life when I'm so thankful to be a girl. It's so nice to just be able to feel the vibe and be LED by the man. I don't envy you guys for having to think of the beat, the moves, directing the woman's moves, etc.

I think it's especially hard for a man to lead those of us who have a tendency to "get it" and try and anticipate where you're going, etc. Hmm...life lesson there? Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

Ladies, what IS IT about a man who's got rhythm, can dance and leads well? I mean, I totally fell in crush with the instructor last night...just because he was a fabulous dancer.

Don't get me wrong. You don't need to win "Dancing with the Stars" for me to want to dance with you...but guys, take a note here. Even if you think you're not very good, take some lessons...you're probably not as white as you think you are (in the rhythm department), and the ladies will swoon.

mr. yuck is mean...

...mr. yuck is GREEN!