overheard in italy

So, I'm sitting in Piazza San Marco in Venice with my friend Laura. We're enjoying the scenery, people watching and beautiful weather. The two girls sitting to our right are busily sketching the facade of the Basilica in their drawing pads. The pigeons are scurrying about begging for hand-outs. Two little kids are playing chase with their dad around the square while another little boy traces the pattern laid out by the the stones that make up the square. The scene is perfect.

And then this guy shows up.



(Warning to the reader: some difficult or potentially offensive language / subject matter ahead)

His opening line: "I'm not helping you carry all that crap."

And it contined from there:

"I sat here for THREE HOURS while you two did all that shopping, so you're going to have to carry it all yourself...blah, blah, blah...

...I mean, I was sitting here on my a$$ for three hours, with nothing to do...blah, blah, blah...

...I even had to take a dump in those crappy toilets over there...[this comment was met with stifled giggles from Laura and me and the two sketching girls]...

...three hours...blah, blah, blah...

...What the hell did you buy for three hours anyway? Do you realize you were gone for three hours?

...I'm not carrying anything for you. Which water taxi do we take back to the hotel?"

This 'conversation' went on for about 15 minutes (which probably doesn't seem like very long to those of you who weren't there), and then one of the sketching girls leaned over to her friend and said "Hey...how long were they gone again? Was it three hours?"

I guffawed.

By the way...the two women who had been shopping for 3 hours were each carrying one bag each, and the bags looked to be not quite large enough for two normal-sized shoe boxes. How much help did he think they needed?